Christian Hospitality
We are entering the holiday season, a time typically marked by getting together with others. Last year, the pandemic changed that. I imagine everyone this year will be approaching the holidays in their own unique way. There are those mourning loved ones. Some people are apprehensive to gather. Others are excited and eager to re connect in ways that make up for lost time. I have heard from many adjusting to being in-person again. Easing back into socializing has taken a lot of extra energy for some. With all of this in mind, I want to focus on Christian hospitality for this month’s reflection.
What is Christian Hospitality?
Christian hospitality is an expression of God’s love and living out our call to, “Love our neighbor as ourselves” (Mt 22:39). Christian hospitality is the cycle of both receiving God’s love and giving God’s love. Thinking of it in this way, how hospitable you are has everything to do with how much of God’s love you allow into your heart.
Giving and Serving
My initial understanding of hospitality was focused on the giving part of the cycle, and the external expressions of giving. I am Italian and Hispanic and in my experience that meant we were all about family and food. These gatherings are my most treasured times. Yet I see now that my focus was on the externals of giving. Hospitality meant preparing my house for large gatherings (and making sure it was perfectly clean), cooking (and stressing over whether my food would taste perfect). Many times I did way more than necessary, to the point of exhaustion and resentment. I love welcoming people, yet I would become overly consumed thinking of every detail. As a result, I exhausted myself and took it out on my family. Yelling at my husband and kids to help a few hours before a gathering became part of the preparation tradition I am not so proud of.
I hosted a lot of special times yet something was missing for me. All my giving energy was focused on the externals: the food, the table, the clean house. No time was devoted connecting within and allowing God’s love to fuel my giving.
Hospitality From Within
When I began learning about Christian hospitality, I found a whole new way to be hospitable. I grew to see that I needed to begin with myself. I needed to clean my own inner home and learn to be hospitable to Christ within me before being hospitable to anyone else. I had been constantly depleting myself and was not allowing God’s love to fuel my service towards others. As a result, there was always a limit to how much I could give. There was always a point where I became frustrated, resentful, and exhausted and sometimes getting sick. I desperately needed to allow for an inward flow of love to fuel the outward flow of giving.
Allowing for a more hospitable place within my inner home meant becoming better at listening to my limits and setting boundaries with myself and others. Allowing time for quiet reflection and prayer became more of a consistent presence in my life. Caring less about perfection and more about connection put me in a different space when welcoming people. The giving, serving, and welcoming cycle comes from a more loving place within me. I try to focus on connecting with Christ within me so I can be present to Christ in the other.
Welcome Yourself
If this is a hard year for you because you are mourning the loss of someone, uncomfortable interacting with people due to COVID, or having a hard time adjusting to the energy needed for in-person events, spend intentional time carving out hospitable space within your inner home. Give yourself time to grieve without judgment, feel what you are feeling, and process all that is going on in the world. Welcome Christ into your inner room and have a conversation.
The more you allow for an hospitable place for Christ within you, the more compassionate and loving you will be with others. As you give more much attention to your inward flow of love, you will find there is more of an outward flow toward others - more love, compassion, and giving - without much effort. More time nurturing your heart translates into more energy for others. You will have a wider container to hold others’ needs.
Reflect & Share
As you begin this holiday season, take some time to reflect on your hospitable heart.
What have you noticed about the events and experiences you have gone back to? Are you noticing in-person events can be extra tiring after not experiencing them for so long? Are you being kind to yourself - setting boundaries and being aware of what you need as you get into a busier season?
How are you allowing for an hospitable heart to others? How are you making room in your heart for those you disagree with? How can you extend a helping hand to those who need help this season?
Sacred Circle
Want to share this reflection with others? Join us for Sacred Circle.