Fear and Courage: Sacred Circle Reflection
A Reflection by Christine Jurisich
Fear and Courage
Here I am sitting in my hospital gown feeling vulnerable and scared. I had a mammogram a week earlier, and they called me back for another look. With my phone in my assigned locker, I am forced to “Be still” (Psalm 46:10). I close my eyes and try to connect with my center, the Ground of my Being, God.
Breathing in and out slowly, I feel as if I am in a foreign place. This isn’t working! How could this be? Closing my eyes, breathing in and out, and connecting with the Divine Within is my home; my safe place; my security. This space, this connection, this relationship with God has guided me through my darkest hours. Yet now I feel nothing. Just anxiety. Body-buzzing, heart-thumping, mind-racing anxiety.
Thankfully, it is nothing serious, and I say a prayer for all those in waiting rooms who do not hear, “You are fine.” Yet it is an important moment for me. I realize my life is too busy with distractions from my center. The “not enough” voices are drowning out the “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) voice.
Look at Courage in a New Way
It is hard to feel courageous when you are scared. We are living in a time when there are a lot of anxiety-inducing events around the world. If you are trying to cope with anxiety and fear, I understand how hard it can be. Yet there is a way to have courage when you look at its definition in a new way.
Courage does not need to be some lofty goal attainable only by the bold, fearless superheroes and saints of the world.
Courage is the place where you meet God; the place where fear and trust meet.
The Place Where Fear and Trust Meet
Courage is within every one of us, because that is where God resides.
I want to say that again. Courage is within you, because that is where God resides.
When you look at courage as a place of befriending fear and trust at the same time, you no longer have to rely on pretending to be strong when you are scared, or waiting to feel bold before sharing your beliefs. Acknowledge the fear and walk with it. When you can connect with the calming trust that God is walking with you, you can get through anything.
Cultivating Courage. Cultivating Relationship.
This sense of walking with fear and trust has helped me in many moments. Yet as shown above, I have plenty of fearful moments when it does not help. When I am off my routine prayer practices or life becomes overwhelming because I am driven by a to-do list, trying to quiet the “not-enough” voices, I do not feel the sense of fear and peaceful trust at the same time.
When courage is the place where fear and trust meet, cultivating courage means nurturing your relationship with God. Courage becomes the fruit of that relationship.
This is difficult stuff. It requires time and intention to deepen your relationship with God. This includes opening your heart, surrendering the need for control, and acknowledging the realities of life, because that is where God resides. The more you spend time exploring all of this, the better you can experience a sense of trust when feeling a deep sense of fear.
What Does Courage Feel Like?
Courage will look and feel different for each of us. When I am in a centered place and confronted by fear, my most courageous moments are never the ones in which I feel bold and fearless. Many times, I feel vulnerable and sick to my stomach, as if I am opening myself up to either rejection, the unknown, or judgment.
What gets me from one breath to the next is trust. Sometimes that trust feels like peace and calm, even in scary situations. Other times, trust does not necessarily feel warm and fuzzy. Sometimes I am in paralyzing fear, and there is a choice to move from one moment to the next. Yet there is a grounding, centering belief that no matter what, God’s Grace will be there for me. There is a sense that the fear is being held; I am not alone; God is walking with me.
Freedom and Peace
If you are struggling with feelings of anxiety, fear, or confusion and seeking courage, I invite you to make the intention to explore a new approach to being courageous. Perhaps this means trying a new prayer practice, learning more about your fears, or finding new ways to share your faith, a beautiful way to experience God’s Grace. There is a sense of freedom and peace that can come from knowing that courage is not about acting tough and fearless. Nor is it about waiting until everything turns out the way you want it to. It is about getting in touch with the Divine Within, our true strength and peace. It is about Being Still with a deep knowing that God is present in the mysteries of life.
We want to hear from you.
How do you find courage when you feel fearful? (Scroll down to comment)
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Discern between toxic worries and healthy concerns. Draw strength from, “Be Still, and know that I am God". Enjoy weekly prayer practices for courage. Discover how courage leads to hope.
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